the last two weeks have been full of preschool visits around here. before i had leslie & lucy, i swore i would not get sucked into the craziness that is finding the *perfect* preschool. i mean, it’s PREschool, right? she’s three. this is not college. but, somehow, it feels like the most important choice i’ve ever made. the people at her preschool will be responsible for her. it will be the first time in her life (aside from the mom’s day out program she’s in right now) that someone besides me will be in charge of taking care of her and teaching her the things she needs to know. and it’s a little scary. we’ve decided to do montessori because it feels less like school and more like exploring with some accidental knowledge thrown in. i’ve been to all the montessori schools in town. they are mostly all the same; some bigger, some smaller, some closer, some farther, some reasonably priced, and some i’d have to start an illegal business to pay for. and i’ve filled out applications. and added our name to waiting lists. so now comes the hard part. making the choice. sending her somewhere to make new friends, learn new things, and survive without her mommy. she’s growing up just a little too quickly. things are going to change. she’s going to start making her own friends, and that scares me. what if i don’t like them? what if their parents are weird? what if somebody in her class calls her a mean name? what if she comes home crying? what if? what if? what if? it is the “what ifs” of her life that scare me the most. until now, i’ve gotten to choose her friends, her activities, her clothes (for the most part)…and now it’s time for her to start making those choices. it is the letting go that will be the most difficult for this mommy. i know that i’ll survive, she’ll be fine, and life will go on. but i’m sure going to miss these days, these friends (the friends that i got to choose because they happen to have really awesome moms who keep me sane, worry about the same things, and love to go out for pedicures and chocolate desserts), and this part of her life…the part before preschool. before i turned around and had an almost-three-year-old.
leslie’s buddies. lexie & nate. she really loves them.